Deutsch

Türkce

You are the visitor

Chapter 10 – Celibacy as a Religious Vocation

I. Muslim Questions

* Why don’t priests and members of religious orders marry?

II. Muslim Perspectives

General

1. Islam teaches that it is the natural vocation of every man and woman to establish a family and to accept, as a believer, the associated demands and risks. The establishing and the bringing up of a family are thus considered a duty towards the wider community, both human and religious. Muslims therefore suspect that someone capable of marriage who willingly remains single does so out of selfishness, or alternatively because of impotence or deep disappointment following unhappiness in love. Muslims also doubt whether the obligations involved in the oath of celibacy are really observed: they suspect secret relationships between priests and members of religious orders, as well as homosexual relationships. Underlying all this is the general conviction that healthy men and women cannot live without sexual relations.

2. Furthermore, marriage is a basic duty for believers: ‘Marriage is half of the faith’ (al-zawāj nisf al-imān), in the words of a much-quoted hadith. This is especially so for men, whose duty it is to ‘protect the weaker sex’. It is thus understandable why voluntary celibacy is something of a scandal among Muslims and evokes hostile criticism, though this spontaneous and basic reaction appears today to be undergoing certain developments.

3. Cases of voluntary celibacy in the Islamic world, among both men and women, have recently become more frequent. This phenomenon, which can sometimes be on a temporary basis, can arise from the need for dedication to a particular cause, as with older brothers and sisters looking after the younger children in a family, nurses or social workers devoting themselves wholly to their work, or freedom fighters such as the fidā’iyyūn and fidā’iyyāt of the Palestinian struggle for liberation. It can also arise from personal reasons, such as the desire to seek fulfilment in life outside or before marriage, or from religious reasons, as with unmarried pilgrims (hājjiyyūn) or young widows who have decided to stay in Mecca to pray and meditate, either for a particular period or for their whole life.

4. Those who know priests and members of religious orders and have experienced their daily lives recognize that the vocation of celibacy can genuinely be lived out. Many admire this way of living. This is often the case with Muslim girls who live or work together with nuns, would like to live as Muslim celibates and express their regret that there is no comparable form of religious life in Islam. What are their motives? The desire to escape from marriage, or the longing for a life of dedication? Muslims will often say: ‘That is in order for Christians, but “in Islam there is no monasticism”(la rahbāniyyat fīl-Islām)’.

Detailed

1. With a few exceptions, one can say that celibacy as a vocation is not recognized in Islam, either as a religious or a human ideal. There is practically no trace of it in the Qur’an. The Prophet was married. There are many hadith which, while explicitly praising marriage, portray celibacy negatively and reject it. For example: ‘Our sunna [tradition, and implying upright character] is marriage’ (sunnatu-nā al-zawāj); ‘Marriage is half of the faith’; ‘If I had one day more to live and was not married, I would take a wife, so that I should not meet God as an unmarried man’; it was said to a man who was not yet married: ‘So you have decided to live in Satan’s community? If you wish to become a Christian monk, then enter their community openly, but if you are one of us then follow our sunna!’

One of the greatest Muslim theologians, al-Ghazāli (1058-1111), explains in great detail why marriage is a binding obligation in Islam:
- to beget offspring, in obedience to the clear will of God and the Prophet;
- to strengthen the Muslim community;
- to satisfy one’s sensual appetites and to gain a foretaste of Paradise here on earth;
- for the husband: the benefit of having someone to look after the housework, so leaving time free for prayer;
- for the mystic: relaxation through enjoying oneself with one’s wife;
- finally, an opportunity to grow in patience through tolerating one’s wife’s temperament.⁶⁹
Nearly all Islamic mystics were married.

2. However, celibacy is not totally ignored nor rejected in every case. The Qur’an praises Mary as the perfect example of virginal purity: she ‘guarded her chastity’ (Qur’an 21:91; 66:12; cf. 3:39, referring to John the Baptist [Yahyā], who was chaste [hasūr], and hinting at the chastity of Jesus). Monks are praised in the Qur’an (5:82; 24:36-37 and 57:27; but note also 9:31,34). Some Muslim mystics and ascetics lived as celibates, as, for example, the famous female mystic Rābi‛a of Basra, whose refusal to marry seems to imply an oath of dedication to God. The manuals of some religious orders (e.g. the Rahmāniyya and Bektāshiyya) praise celibacy undertaken for religious motives. In a discussion of ‘Arguments for and against Marriage’, al-Ghazāli presents celibacy as advisable only if one is not ready for the expenses and burdens of a family, if the character of the proposed wife is too difficult or if she would prevent the mystic from engaging in the serious practice of meditation. He comes to the conclusion that the value of being or not being married depends on one’s circumstances. The ideal is to be able to combine married life with piety and devotion to God, as the Prophet Muhammad did.

On the celibacy of Jesus, al-Ghazāli comments:

‘Perhaps he was so disposed by nature that being preoccupied with family matters would have exhausted him too much, or it would have become too difficult for him to provide for a family lawfully, or he was unable to combine marriage with devotion to the service of God and chose devotion to the service of God alone.’⁷⁰

III. Christian Perspectives

It is not a question here of singleness in a secular context, which is not concerned with sexual abstinence. It is a question of the conscious Christian motivation for celibacy, particularly the celibacy and sexual abstinence demanded of priests and members of religious orders.

1. Catholic Perspective

For the Catholic faith there are three fundamental and complementary motives for the vocation to celibacy:

(i) for the sake of the kingdom of heaven (Matthew 19:12) or (with Paul) for the sake of the proclamation of the Gospel (1 Corinthians 9). It is a matter of showing one’s total gratitude to and love for Jesus Christ. For those who are called to celibacy, this way of life can deepen inner union with God and increase openness for God. Celibacy can be an expression of expectancy before God and the awaiting of his kingdom;
(ii) the service of others, which is furthered by total devotion to this calling;
(iii) a conscious imitation of Jesus, who lived as a celibate, and of Mary, who is called ‘the Virgin’ in the Creed. This has inspired and motivated very many Christians who are celibate for the sake of Jesus.

2. Protestant Perspective

Marriage is recommended as being of equal status to celibacy, for which there is no particular preference. Celibacy can be significant for the sake of dedicated service in the proclamation of the Gospel, but it is not demanded of ministers. Celibacy is lived out in some communities, but not on the basis of an irreversible commitment. The celibacy of Jesus is not seen as having any vital function, though Jesus does serve as an example to those who are celibate. The same does not apply to Mary; biblical scholars assume that Mary did not at all live as a permanent virgin, but rather had further children after Jesus (Mark 6:3).

IV. (Catholic) Christian Responses

1. In response to the Muslim suspicion of selfishness as a motive, one can answer that vocation to celibacy is, in principle, motivated by the desire to serve others (li-khidmat al-insāniyya) and by the will to do good (li-l-a‛māl al-khayriyya). This, however, demands of celibates that they are truly available for the service of others. It will not carry much conviction if their way of life is scarcely any different from that of married people. Celibacy can truly be lived out as a Christian vocation only when the whole way of life is pervaded by the spirit of the Gospel.

2. Where emphasis is laid on the religious and moral duty to marry and bring up a family, one can in response point to the fact that celibacy aims at total dedication to God (li-wajh Allāh; aslama wajha-hu li-llāh), and is undertaken for the sake of prayer. This assumes that the spirit of total devotion and prayer can actually be noticed.

3. Where there is the suspicion that disappointment in love lies behind the decision to become celibate, one can point to the value and the beauty of married life, of the Christian family as an ideal, and, possibly, to happily married sisters and brothers.

4. One should neither conceal nor deny the struggles and temptations involved in celibacy, nor give the impression that it is a protection against all crises. One must recognize that many have left this way, finding that it was too difficult for them.

5. When questioned on this subject, priests and other members of religious orders ought to explain how they experienced their vocation as a call, an invitation (da‛wā) from God to grow in love, and also a desire to follow the example of Jesus and of the Virgin Mary. One can describe how this call matured through prayer, reflection and consultation with other believing Christians, with the support of one’s family, if this was the case; and of how the idea finally became so clear and pressing that to reject it would have brought about much sadness and distress. This all assumes that in the life of a person genuinely living out the religious vocation to celibacy authentic human and spiritual fulfilment becomes palpable.

Please send your questions about the book or Christiantiy to:
questions@answers-to-muslims.com